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Pondering the new year
Author: TriSec
Date: 12/30/2023 13:07:24
Good Morning.
As 2023 breathes its last, I am personally looking forward to drowning it's sorry ass in a tumbler of gin tomorrow night, just to watch it suffer.
Yes, Trisec has reached that point. I am old, tired and worn out. About the only thing that has brought me any pleasure since about August has been watching the misfortune of others.
A job I once loved has turned into a soul-sucking daily exercise in survival. It's shown no sign of letup, even into the winter. I was completely set up to fail this past Wednesday, and I very nearly did. Just like every other day I've dispatched since cruise season.
Before Thanksgiving, I picked up a side hustle for the winter, knowing that hours are thin in tourism in the first quarter. In just a few days of driving for the new shop, the scales have fallen from my eyes.
Far and away - the new job pays more. MUCH more. Which means there are a lot of drivers. Nobody is stretched thin, and there are plenty of resources on busy days. It makes a difference.
The vehicles are all new and well-maintained. I can find a mechanic easily in the morning if something is not working, and the company prefers that a vehicle doesn't leave the yard if something is wrong with it. It makes a difference.
The work is quite different. Given that it's all for-hire, or MBTA shuttle service when the subway breaks down, There are always happy people out there, looking forward to get on board. Nobody is upset or screaming at me that they've been waiting 5 minutes for a trolley. It makes a difference.
Management at the new gig is also quite different. There is a quiet competence that exudes from the upstairs office, unlike the chaos that is tourism on a busy day. When I leave the yard, I am the commander of my vehicle; nobody tries to micro-manage what I am doing out there. And with the sole exception of the HR person, every single person upstairs has a CDL, and is certified to drive every vehicle. Including the dispatchers, trainer, and the owner. It makes a difference.
And then there is me. I have driven at Yankee Bus for just over two weeks. I came in and played dumb; I sat on board, worked with the trainer, learned my way around, and then blindsided the trainer after he told me that I was pretty good, and he hadn't seen anyone pick things up that quickly in a while. I told him that I too was a trainer; I used to teach people how to drive a trolley, and used to train them on giving the tour. Which sat him back on his seat and he said "oh". THE VERY NEXT DAY, I was out there training a new driver on wheelchair operations. It makes a difference.
And so, today I am going in to trolley-land earlier than my shift. While I am not going to leave outright, I'll be having that conversation today with my boss and the schedule maker.
For the first quarter I'll be cutting back to the bare minimum so I don't lose my tour certifications and driving privileges. I would only be driving tourists one day a week, and perhaps dispatching every now and again.
I already have it in my mind to be done with this. I still want to get a few more paychecks under my belt and do some maths.
But the intangibles have already won the argument for me. Plus, my trusted lieutenants at the trolley have all weighed in with their opinions. At least one of them is interested in following me down the road to see what happens.
Do try to have a Happy New Year out there. The jury is still out on mine.
As 2023 breathes its last, I am personally looking forward to drowning it's sorry ass in a tumbler of gin tomorrow night, just to watch it suffer.
Yes, Trisec has reached that point. I am old, tired and worn out. About the only thing that has brought me any pleasure since about August has been watching the misfortune of others.
A job I once loved has turned into a soul-sucking daily exercise in survival. It's shown no sign of letup, even into the winter. I was completely set up to fail this past Wednesday, and I very nearly did. Just like every other day I've dispatched since cruise season.
Before Thanksgiving, I picked up a side hustle for the winter, knowing that hours are thin in tourism in the first quarter. In just a few days of driving for the new shop, the scales have fallen from my eyes.
Far and away - the new job pays more. MUCH more. Which means there are a lot of drivers. Nobody is stretched thin, and there are plenty of resources on busy days. It makes a difference.
The vehicles are all new and well-maintained. I can find a mechanic easily in the morning if something is not working, and the company prefers that a vehicle doesn't leave the yard if something is wrong with it. It makes a difference.
The work is quite different. Given that it's all for-hire, or MBTA shuttle service when the subway breaks down, There are always happy people out there, looking forward to get on board. Nobody is upset or screaming at me that they've been waiting 5 minutes for a trolley. It makes a difference.
Management at the new gig is also quite different. There is a quiet competence that exudes from the upstairs office, unlike the chaos that is tourism on a busy day. When I leave the yard, I am the commander of my vehicle; nobody tries to micro-manage what I am doing out there. And with the sole exception of the HR person, every single person upstairs has a CDL, and is certified to drive every vehicle. Including the dispatchers, trainer, and the owner. It makes a difference.
And then there is me. I have driven at Yankee Bus for just over two weeks. I came in and played dumb; I sat on board, worked with the trainer, learned my way around, and then blindsided the trainer after he told me that I was pretty good, and he hadn't seen anyone pick things up that quickly in a while. I told him that I too was a trainer; I used to teach people how to drive a trolley, and used to train them on giving the tour. Which sat him back on his seat and he said "oh". THE VERY NEXT DAY, I was out there training a new driver on wheelchair operations. It makes a difference.
And so, today I am going in to trolley-land earlier than my shift. While I am not going to leave outright, I'll be having that conversation today with my boss and the schedule maker.
For the first quarter I'll be cutting back to the bare minimum so I don't lose my tour certifications and driving privileges. I would only be driving tourists one day a week, and perhaps dispatching every now and again.
I already have it in my mind to be done with this. I still want to get a few more paychecks under my belt and do some maths.
But the intangibles have already won the argument for me. Plus, my trusted lieutenants at the trolley have all weighed in with their opinions. At least one of them is interested in following me down the road to see what happens.
Do try to have a Happy New Year out there. The jury is still out on mine.
Comments:
Order comments Newest to Oldest Refresh Comments
Comment by 
BobR on 12/30/2023 15:32:49
BobR on 12/30/2023 15:32:49
There's nothing quite like finding that gig where not only do you not dread the workday, but actually feel pretty good about it.
Comment by Will_in_Ca on 12/30/2023 17:16:58
Good morning, bloggers!!!!
I have found some schools where I feel that I belong and it makes a huge difference. (I am feeling schadenfreude as I now know that the last place I was at is looking to fill several positions, and some former lousy supervisors elsewhere are gone.)
My hope is that it will be a good year for us all. It has been a challenging 2023 on many levels.
I have found some schools where I feel that I belong and it makes a huge difference. (I am feeling schadenfreude as I now know that the last place I was at is looking to fill several positions, and some former lousy supervisors elsewhere are gone.)
My hope is that it will be a good year for us all. It has been a challenging 2023 on many levels.
Comment by 
shelaghc on 12/30/2023 17:59:18
shelaghc on 12/30/2023 17:59:18
The place I worked for nearly five years I mostly loved what I did. There were a few people who I was helping who added to my anxiety fairly regularly. But by and large, I liked doing what I did and I was damn good at it.
What was soul-sucking for me were the people I worked for and with. The fact that I hadn't had a raise in over three years and the raise and promotion I was promised was reneged on, despite giving me the work involved with the promotion, only added to the stress. Most of my anxiety and panic attacks came from the higher ups, including a supervisor who felt threatened by me.
I interviewed for a new job that would guarantee losing about three weeks of PTO and personal days each year, along with not being able to keep up with a 401k for a long time, and missing out on a lot of gratuitous holidays.
I also had a lot of guilt because I was the only employee there that did I what I did. I knew that if I left, literally no one could take my place doing the job that I did.
(I even gave the old place one last chance to at least make good on the promise of the raise and promotion - they told me "it wasn't off the table.")
Leaving was incredibly anxiety-producing - change is freaking scary, even if it's leaving a bad situation for a relatively unknown one.
I accepted the new job with a higher rate of pay and it's been a good decision overall. My boss is supportive and the environment is far better than what I left.
(As a bonus at the new job: With the old job we had an annual fireworks festival where there were performers invited. I asked more than once if I could perform - I was always ignored. I've performed twice now at internal parties - the second time I was invited based on the first time.)
You need to do what's best for you ultimately. If your regular job is sucking your soul, you need to regain your soul. It may feel like crap to leave your co-workers behind, but they have a choice about where to work as well.
And if the soon-to-be old job sees that employees are leaving, maybe they'll start to figure out they need to make the place better too.
I hope your new year is as stress-free as it can be.
What was soul-sucking for me were the people I worked for and with. The fact that I hadn't had a raise in over three years and the raise and promotion I was promised was reneged on, despite giving me the work involved with the promotion, only added to the stress. Most of my anxiety and panic attacks came from the higher ups, including a supervisor who felt threatened by me.
I interviewed for a new job that would guarantee losing about three weeks of PTO and personal days each year, along with not being able to keep up with a 401k for a long time, and missing out on a lot of gratuitous holidays.
I also had a lot of guilt because I was the only employee there that did I what I did. I knew that if I left, literally no one could take my place doing the job that I did.
(I even gave the old place one last chance to at least make good on the promise of the raise and promotion - they told me "it wasn't off the table.")
Leaving was incredibly anxiety-producing - change is freaking scary, even if it's leaving a bad situation for a relatively unknown one.
I accepted the new job with a higher rate of pay and it's been a good decision overall. My boss is supportive and the environment is far better than what I left.
(As a bonus at the new job: With the old job we had an annual fireworks festival where there were performers invited. I asked more than once if I could perform - I was always ignored. I've performed twice now at internal parties - the second time I was invited based on the first time.)
You need to do what's best for you ultimately. If your regular job is sucking your soul, you need to regain your soul. It may feel like crap to leave your co-workers behind, but they have a choice about where to work as well.
And if the soon-to-be old job sees that employees are leaving, maybe they'll start to figure out they need to make the place better too.
I hope your new year is as stress-free as it can be.
Comment by 
Raine on 12/30/2023 19:26:38
Raine on 12/30/2023 19:26:38
" Leap and the net will appear. "
I've learned that I've had to leap more than once. So have you, Tri. The net will appear again.
I've learned that I've had to leap more than once. So have you, Tri. The net will appear again.