"My mind it being much inclined to cross the raging main,
I left my tender parents in sorrow, grief and pain.
On board the "Fame" we then became all passengers to be,
To sail with Captain Thompson to the Land of Libertie".

La la la lalala la laaaaa.

Good morning dear readers! Oh, how excited am I to be packing for the cruise of the Century with Karl Rove, former U.N. hater John Bolton, prostitute toe-sucker Dick Morris and the cream of the crop - or, is that crop of the cream - from the overly conservative National Review — Rich Lowry, Jonah Goldberg, Kathryn Lopez, Kate O’Beirne and others.

As you can see, I'm catching up on my sailing songs. My favorite of course:
"Oh, as I wuz a-rollin' down Pa-ra-dise Street, Tim-me way, hay, blow the man down!
A sassy flash clipper I chanct for to meet, Ooh! Give us some time to blow the man down"!
Which is one I may not be singing at the bar, given the occupants of this particular cruise.

According to my brochure, we'll be sailing the hilarious, oh I read that wrong, the The luxurious Holland America Noordam which will set out from Rome to Dubrovnik to the Greek Isles, then to Sicily and back to Rome. I am giddy with anticipation, but I will not be packing any sandals due to the aforementioned toe-sucking problem. I wouldn't want to entice anyone. Velveeta is famous for her toes, among other things.

Oh, if only it would include the comedian Glen Beck. Now that would just be the cherry on top!

"We'll rant and we'll roar like true Newfoundlanders,
We'Il rant and we'll roar on deck and below
Until we see bottom inside the two sunkers,
When straight through the Channel to Toslow we'll go".

But, speaking of dicks, I'll think as reading material I will finally get to read Mr. Morris' most recent book on this cruise, Fleeced: How Barack Obama, Media Mockery of Terrorist Threats, Liberals Who Want To Kill Talk Radio, The Do-Nothing Congress, Companies That Help Iran, And Washington Lobbyists For Foreign Governments Are Scamming Us...And What To Do About It . Oh, and maybe, just maybe, I'll get a peek at his upcoming book Catastrophe: How Obama, Congress, and the Special Interests are Transforming. . .A Downturn into a Crash, a Recession into a Depression, and a Disaster into a CATASTROPHE . . and How to Stop Them. Catchy title. This will give me something to muse about with him while hopefully elevating him away from my toes. And, if it looks as if he might have a toe-sucking relapse, my plan is to yell "LOOK IT'S HILLARY!".

"A-way, haul a-way, roll me in the clover
A-way, haul a-way, haul a-way, Joe"!

Oops, best not sing that one too close to Mr. Karl Rove, it might remind him that he is still under indictment. Wouldn't want to stress him out before his big speech.

Well, I am all packed and I am ready to sail- to set aimlessly adrift at sea with my fellow travelers in the Republican party who see absolutely no irony in this. I've got my Suntan lotion, my properly conservative swim wear, my large hat and sunglasses, my copy of Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream by Samuel J. Wurzelbacher and my escort Micheal Moore.

"Ship of fools sail away from me
It was later than I thought
When I first believed you
Now I cannot share your laughter
Ship of fools..."